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Thanks to customer requests, the Tea Lounges now open every day at 8am!
To kick things off, we’re offering a new Chai & Scone Morning Special:
Between 8-10 am, enjoy a freshly baked Cherry Oat Scone with cream and jam, plus a steaming mug of Masala Chai, for just $6. (This special ends June 1, 2013.)
Sometimes when I’m at the Tea Lounges and have a moment to myself, I like to sit at a remote corner table and pretend to be a customer. Then I just observe. I never tire of watching haggard, stressed out people plop themselves down, then slowly transform as they experience our warming teas and nourishing food. Watching their eyes get clearer and suddenly seeing – actually seeing – the person sitting across the table from them, and connecting with them for one quiet moment.
I also count how many people are twiddling away on their phones while eating, barely tasting their food or talking to their companions. I’m not against technology at all—I have as much tech as the next guy in San Francisco. The tools of today allow us this unprecedented ability to create movements and organizations and companies, and art.
But the very same tools are what keep us glued to our screens and couches, immobilized and frozen in our unhealthy habits. The medium of our devices and ever present information has become the message (as Marshall McLuhan so eloquently put it).
And the hard part is, technology is a drug and we’re predisposed to being junkies.
We’re hard-wired to become addicted to the constant stream of info on the internet. Our survival instinct wires us to notice anything new and out of the ordinary. The Harvard Business Review recently reported, “When dopamine levels increase, you’re inclined to do whatever it takes to maintain the ‘high’ they generate,” and when there isn’t a distraction, we look for something to replace it to get another hit. Another great reference on the effects of distraction is the TED talk by my friend Adam Gazzaley.
So how do you embrace this wild animal without getting eaten alive by it?
Agrarian society fed the Industrial Revolution. The Industrial Revolution created the tools and workforce for the Information Age. But what comes next? The pattern of change in human development is as predictable as it is disruptive. The one constant in this world is that nothing lasts forever.
So where are we headed now?
Joshua Jacobs, who works on Special Ops for us at Samovar Tea Lounge, has been a key collaborator for the last 12 months, and he has some interesting ideas on this subject. Rather than speak for him, I invited him to write a guest post here and share his perspective.
Recognize the last name? Yup, he’s my brother. But don’t think that means I’ve been easy on him—I’ve already fired him three times…
Best practices only make sense within a particular context. Applied in the wrong context, they’ll produce horrid results. The best practices at Google bear almost no resemblance to the best practices at a 3-person app development shop. Change the context and the governing rules also change, making all “best practices” worthless unless they are tailored to the situation.
And the consequences are huge. It’s why the Luddites could not stop the industrialization of their craft. It’s why telephone operators were replaced by Cisco routers. It’s why Borders and Blockbuster went bankrupt.
The Ages of our civilization don’t end; they evolve. First slowly and with incredible resistance, and then faster and faster until the cycle is complete.
The fact is, the Information Age has already evolved into a new era. How do I know? By looking at the results.
My grandmother Muriel will soon turn 93. She’s living in LA now where she’s closer to her son and with much easier Winters than Minnesota where she spent most of her life. My Mom was flying in from Boston for a visit, so I decided it was time to pack up my family and drive down for a long weekend. It’s not a short drive, and I had to ignore a lot of urgent tasks that needed my attention, but spending time with my family, and making sure that my son has memories of his great-grandmother is one way that I personally practice Positive Human Connection. Positive Human Connection is many things, but above all it’s about not waiting for a better time be present with those we love. It’s also the core principle and basis for my company, Samovar Tea Lounge.
Water is life.
Our bodies are made up of mostly water.
The earth is mostly water.
Tea is just flavored water.
Water is life and it deserves special appreciation and attention.
We have so sadly abused this life giving elixir. We stuff it into plastic bottles. We chemically alter it by making it “smart.” We chlorinate and fluoridate it. We use it to wash road grime from our cars. We use it to cool nuclear reactors. We abuse it. We throw it away. We do not respect water. And without this liquid we can die in less than three days.
At Samovar Tea Lounge we do our best to acknowledge and appreciate this beverage. We realize that without it we have no business. Because of water, we brew great tea. We buy our groceries. We hydrate with Jasmine Green Tea after yoga class because we are so fortunate to be blessed with abundant, and good tasting, clean water.
This is not the case for so much of the world. Millions of people the world over do not have access to fresh, clean water. And so they die. That’s why great organizations like Charity Water exist. We are so blessed here, today.
Recently I had the chance to talk with Wu De, tea monk and founder of Global Tea Hut, about the importance and magic of water with tea. Check out the video below; we’ll also be posting three more conversations with Wu De to our blog in the coming days.
So please, join us at Samovar Tea Lounge by taking just a moment out of your next sip of tea, water, or even coffee, and offer up your own Water Prayer of Gratitude. And if you like, share your prayer with us in the comment section below.
After ten years running Samovar Tea Lounge I’ve experienced many highs and my fair share of low points. The worst times were the periods of fear, uncertainty, and doubt–the three demons that eclipse goodness and hope, consuming everything in their path as things that once seemed so sure and solid crumble to pieces.
Over the years I’ve had plenty of opportunity to look Fear in the eyes, and while it’s never been easy, with the guidance of mentors, friends, family, and a whole lot of reflection I’ve learned to stand my ground. Here’s what I’ve learned.
Name it.
Face it down. Look it in the eyes. Call out what you feel: Fear? Say it. Anxiety? Say it. Anger? Say it and identify it. Running or squirming away from the feeling will only make it bigger.
Be present.
This moment is the only moment. Do whatever it takes to become present. I like to pay attention to my breath. Inhale for an eight-count. Exhale for an eight-count. Repeat three or four times, increasing the length of both the in- and out-breath.
Seek the root.
What is causing this feeling? Is it a person? Is it money? Is it a predicament? By looking at the root of the fear, it naturally becomes more manageable, less nightmarish, and less emotional. It’s just a “thing,” not an all consuming emotion.
Read more »
This morning, while sipping whisked matcha from my favorite tea bowl, I noticed the frothy, milky consistency of the tea. The slightly astringent, grassy, warm-cream taste. I could feel its buttery body across my lips, swirl the deliciousness in my mouth, and then gingerly swallow it, savoring the delicateness of this shade grown, exotic green tea.
Sitting there in the simple present moment, I noticed the tea.
The ability to notice more of life, the little things specifically, correlates directly to how good you feel about yourself, other people, the situation you’re in, and the state of the world. There are so many distractions pulling on our attention, that’s the stress of it all is even said to make us a bit crazy. And that’s why noticing is so important.
Good for the body. Noticing the breath can help our heart rate go down.
Good for the mind. Noticing helps us slow down, and de-clutter the brain, giving us the chance to focus on what’s important.
You don’t have to be a painter or musician to be an artist. In fact, just living day to day is an art. Our lives our like canvases, and what we do with our precious time here is the paint on that canvas. I believe we are all artists in need of creativity. I find that in order to be creative I need to be open to insights and my intuition. In order to be a better Life Artist, I have created a simple approach that has allowed me to become more aware and perceptive, so that I can be more effective and creative.
1. Get into the Present Moment with Ritual
Life today is non-stop. It often feels like there is no time, and that we jump from one task to another, without any space for actual joy. Enter Ritual. No, not the kind of ritual associated with archaic, outdated, or overly complex or foreign concepts or languages. By ritual, I mean an action, or even non-action that is so easy and repeatable, it requires virtually no thought. Anything can become a ritual. My kind of ritual is simple, repeatable without memorization, requires little thinking, offers little stimulation, and yet is relaxing. My rituals create space.
I love my job. The truth is, most days it’s a lot closer to play than “work”. But in those times when deadlines won’t budge, when there’s far too much to do and nothing seems to be working as planned, I find strength in an ancient concept that is as relevant today at it was 2,000 years ago: Entelechy.
Aristotle coined the term by merging four concepts:
The resulting term, Entelechy, is loaded with power. My favorite definition of it is this one:
“…A particular type of motivation, need for self-determination, and inner strength directing life and growth to become all one is capable of being. It is the need to actualize one’s beliefs. It is having a personal vision and being able to actualize that vision from within…”
In fact that, this theme has been re-visited by many of my favorite philosophers and is very close to Abraham Maslow’s ideas about self actualization and the hierarchy of needs. (For more on that, see this video I did with Chip Conley regarding his book Peak.)
Ok, so how do we convert potentiality into actuality? How do we take simple chemical reactions in the brain, and turn them into something tactile? How do we perform alchemy, i.e. turning lead into gold. Or, in other words, converting something common-place and mundane, into something valuable and rare.
I was having tea with our staff and the topic of culture came up. We realized that for good culture to flourish, there are a few key fundamental values; the biggest of which is the value of Respect.
Culture flows everywhere in an organization and the hallmarks of a positive culture are a cohesive team that works hard, has fun, achieves the mission of the business. It means having a set of values that everybody knows and can work towards. It means connecting with customers and creating a fertile positive energy that pours fluidly and allows all these groups to feel connected. Cultures that lead towards self actualization for the individuals are ideal (for a great book on that check out Peak, by Chip Conley. It’s all about applying Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in the workplace.
1. Respect is a gift
Respect can only be given. You cannot take it. You cannot force it. You cannot extract it. If respect is earned, others give it freely. It can’t be faked or falsified. If others give respect, it’s because it was genuinely earned.
2. Give first, then get
In order to “get” this gift, you’ve got to first give it! Rarely is respect given to a person, if they don’t first give it to others. It’s transparent and can’t be faked. If you genuinely ”give” respect to others, you’ll be on your way to getting some in return.
3. Listen with all your senses
One surefire way of respecting others is to genuinely listen. Keep your mind totally blank and simply “be there,” presently, open to what they are really saying. Pay attention to their words. To their eyes. To their body language. Don’t respond immediately. Just listen. Pause. And consider what this other person is really communicating. A great book on the art and crave of listening is Just Listen.
4. Restate to be clear
Restate in your own words what the other person said. There’s so much room for misunderstanding in the world today because communication happens so quickly. We try to take a lesson from the slowness of tea and find that being slower with communication, and less snappy on the “submit button,” that we are clearer and more efficient in the long run. Rephrase what the other person said, in your own words, so they are confident you really listened and heard them.
5. Connect
Take in what the other person is saying and consider what they really want. They might be asking for a raise, but they might really be asking for more personal freedom. If you can connect to their deeper needs and wants, not just what they’re explicitly saying, you’ll have a chance for a more profound connection over implicit needs. These are less obvious and yet more powerful. If you can connect to the feelings, and really see where the other person is coming from, they will feel heard, and be more open to listening to you, connecting, and ultimately to respecting you.
6. Discuss what matters
OK – so you’ve listened and connected and still there’s disagreement? That’s ok! You don’t have to always come to agreement or harmony in order to have respect. If you’re fair, open, clear and you truly listened and connected – the odds are that respect will flourish. You don’t need to be friends with others in order to respect them. Liking is for friends and lovers. Respect is for fostering effective teams that are aligned and that achieve huge goals. At work, it’s ideal if we all like each other, but, it’s just not always possible.